The Price..

I saw a super nice kaftan just now..Perfect..It's RM465! Really? For a kaftan?

But it looks so nice on the mannequin dammit!

Frustrated, I walked towards one of the cafes located on the lower ground..I ordered a cup of hot latte and a tuna sandwich.. Those are supposedly be my dinner..

"Dinner"

I promised myself to work hard and earn more money so that in the future buying those kaftans will not cost a problem for me.. I'm kinda depressed right now, especially with my weight..I want to wear my baju kurung without worrying about my extra baggage.. I want my 65 back..That was my weight back in 2002, where smoking cigarettes and drinking canned drinks are considered lunch.. Hmmm.. 
It's day 02 for my diet plan..Here are what I ate the whole day today"

Breakfast/brunch: F1 Herbalife 3 scoops with 2 green apples and half carrot
Lunch: 2 wholemeal bread with sambal bilis
Dinner: Tuna sandwich with hot latte 
Supper: I-rather-not!

Anyways, a girl inspired me today..I smiled at her as they she running around the cafe.. Later, she went into Cold Storage and stopped running when she saw few varieties of flower on the counter..

'Mommy, look at all these lilies..can we get them for grandma?'

'But dear, your grandma is no longer with us..'

'How can you say that? That's unfair! She is still here with us.. Daddy told me last night that she's now my guardian angel..She has been with me all the time.. Let's get these and put them in a vase..Put them next to my bed so that I can smell her favorite smell too'

*menangis dalam hati*

Glad that the mom took a bouquet of lilies finally..Well I guess that the girl's grandma was really close to her..I wanna be a person that gives good impact to other person's life too.. Have you heard a news about a famous photographer who passed away in a car accident 2 days ago..Al Fatihah.. As always, I will google about any information I could get from the web..I was so overwhelmed when I knew that she was going to get married next month..and she was a good person too, based on what I've seen in her instagram..May Allah bless her soul..Amin.. ;-)

Do you still remember that I'm currently obsessed with Pinterest? I saw a bugs repellent earlier - an organic one.. The price is RM49.. I sprayed some on my skin to see whether I'll get any allergies mark on my skin..and then I smelled it...It smell like lemongrass! I was so determined to just go back home and try to Pinterest the similar DIY projects! and guess what? I found several ideas that may save up my pocket money well for a few new outfits..Yeay! I promised they will be the cheap and unbranded stuffs... Me have no money! =p

I'll update you guys with my very own bugs repellent okay? I've done some calculation and yessss, it will cost me lesser than RM49..What a wise decision Suraya!!! Well done!!

Pat!

Pat!

Pat!

  

As cliche as it is...

In case you didn't notice, today is the last day of 2013.. So tomorrow I'll be addressed as, 'That 3 series lady' ...This..is... really... happening...  New year = new age.. I hate that fact nonetheless.. Well, 30 years in this world, what have I done for my religion.. Am I pious enough in God's eyes? If I die tomorrow will I be accepted in Jannah? I'm experiencing bad dreams these few nights.. Most of it related with heaven and hell... Well, it may be caused by the panic of those Mayans prediction..Crazy!..and thanks to my hubby as well, for keeps on playing that '2012' movie at home.. But it was quite a wake up call too, wasn't it? I saw lotsa good changes among my friends.. Good changes..For the most obvious one is, wearing a hijab and updating a lot of hadiths on Facebook.. Alhamdulillah.. =) 

Okay, enough with that.. 

Being as cliche as other human beings, I've made my resolution list as well..

=p

I faced some difficulties though in differentiating the meaning of resolution and things that I want need for the upcoming year.. *uhuk*

Here goes my 2013 resolution list:

1. Read Quran/Tafsir Quran more..

2. Focus focus focus on my family more than anyone else!

3. Wear more appropriate attire

4. Keeping distance with my..urmm... so called friends?

5. Free myself from debts

6. Focus more on my study and try to finish assignments earlier than the submission date (Highlightkan  

    terus)

7. Learn to respect people older than me.

8. Shed those extra kilos from my tummy and thigh and cheeks (boring)

9. Spend more time kissing and cuddling Harris.. (this is more like leisure than resolution..ho ho ho)

10.Be in class 5 minutes earlier than the class time..Hwarghhhh (sakit perut terus)

We need to be realistic about this whole thing, don't we? In shaa Allah.. Anyways, I need a standing mirror..A vintage rustic one would be nice.. Awesome!

Obligations

Assalamualikum

Hurmmm.. Well nothing much will change next year. I'm still a daughter/wife/mommy/friend to everyone related..Oh, and a kindy principal.. Hew hew hew..

Yeah people, I've got it!-they offered me a principal position pulak dah.. Rezeki!Though the sound of that position adalah hebat but nope, I won't receive the standard principal salary.. Which is a lot..Which I'm not gonna have it..Hihi..So kelakar to mention it out loud pun tau.. But the fact that I can keep Harris close to me while I'm working is more than I could ask. =) The plan is to bring Harris along to the kindy (Note: I need to put him in other classroom lah kan..) while I manage the kindy and class activities and the teachers schedules and the other..erm.. things.. 

Rezeki will come to everyone equally but not in similar situations..God is The Most Merciful after all.. 

Alhamdulillah.. =)

Jumaat

Salam..It's Friday today..

The last Friday for 2012 and the last Friday before I'll start working at the new place..

I'm excited and a bit cuak for my final exam..Uhuk uhuk..

It's so frustrating anyway when you feel left out sometimes..But it's okay..It's better this way.. Well I absolutely can't be part with something/someone that I shouldn't.. You know, when your presence will cause people trouble.. People do change, and we need to respect that! =)

Yaumul Jumaah. In shaa Allah...

Faith for humanity restored!

Assalamualaikum..

We are here in Johor house right now.. Enjoying these rainy days here.. Can you imagine, wake up and see awesome view with kabus kabus from outside your bedroom windows? Plus, birds chirping and singing their lungs out to wake you up? Arghhhh... Hehe.. Well, I just need to get away from KL house for a while. My parents went to Padang to fetch our maid and yeah, to eat those awesome Padang's food.. Mak MMS(ed) me her photo with abah just now.. Nope, not with that romantic pose whatsoever but yeah, they were enjoying their lunch together.. Ahh..Those two lovebirds! Saja buat I jeles! =p

Plus, Harris needs to be with his father for more than 2 days.. It just breaks my heart to watch him looking for his papa every night, for every night now, at 8:30pm sharp, he'll linger around my study table.. Waiting for his papa to Skype him.. Torturing- really! Really hope our 7 days break will work out just fine for both of them..

Well I think it does work well..I'm so blessed today, to wake up and witnessed Harris and his papa all cuddled up.. They even shared the same duvet..Hmm.. I don't know when did Harris menyelit between me and Shah.. Licik! Hahaha.. I just love watching their identical faces together.. =) 

Bought Harris a lot of books yesterday at Popular BP.. Went to BP Mall to install MS Office for my mbp.. Been asked around for quite sometimes now.. Almost all computer shops in KL especially in Low Yatt offered the similar price, RM 200-280 to install the program.. But I thought it would be cheaper in BP..It always is! So yeah, we brought the laptop and asked the first computer shop we bumped into.. The programmer didn't tell us the price at first, he asked us to walk around and he'll call us once it's ready...

We went to Ayam Penyet to have out dinner.. Okay, this is the best ayam pen yet I ever had.. Seriously, will definitely come back for another round.. Anyways, few seconds after we sat down, the programmer called us to let us know that our laptop's ready..So Shah went back to the shop to get the lappie.. He later joined us for dinner with a big smile on his face.

Me: What's with the smile b?

Him: Teka, how much they charged us?

Me:100?

Him:Yeah.. 100 minus 90!

Me: 10 hengget?!!! For real?

Him: Wallahi

Ye guys.. RM10! That was cheaper than the CD itself.. 

Well, I'm so happy that time, I've lost my appetite to eat! That was wayyyy much better than I've expected.. I'm so gonna be their regular customer from now on.. Im not gonna be racist or whatever, but yeah...They are Malays.. Or Muslims. Alhamdulillah.. Thank you for your great service and thank you for giving Harris a free Car's mousepad.. Hehe.. 

For those who stays near BP, their shop is located at LG floor, next to the Thai restaurant... Opposite the escalator.. Really really really wish their business will go well..Amin..Amin..

I'm living my life right now...

Yeah, we need proper plan to live.. We need money to live.. And the most crucial thing in life would be to have love all along..

I've got an email from one of the college in Shah Alam on Friday, asking me to join their program, well a training based program... This college promised me a spot in MNC (Multinational Companies), GLC (Government Linked Companies) or SME (Small-Medium Size Companies)once the program ended.. I'm excited at first, well especially when they lured me with GLC part.. Hahaha.. My major problem would be the location of that college and my time with Harris would be affected in bad bad way! So yeah... I whatsapp-ed with my best friends and ask them what should I do.. After reconciled with them and gathered all their answers one bucket, I've decided to say no to that offer... I just need some peace of mind and enough time while finishing my Master right?.... 

Plus, abah said- "Well, can you wake up at 6 and leave home at 6.30 every morning cik? It's Shah Alam! Think again please.."

Hehe.. Seriously, I want to stay at home and play with my precious son... Work can wait..

Money? Well I have enough to live right now... =)

This afternoon, I introduced rojak and cendol to my sweet son.. Well, while waiting for our cendol and rojak we spotted few pigeons eating some nuts on the ground..

Harris: Mommy, bird!

Me: Yeah, actually they are pigeons, son..

Harris: Prrr prrrr (imitating the pigeons' cooing sound)

Well, that is priceless.. =)

He really enjoyed the cendol.. Well, especially the sweetcorn in it..

Well, I have told you before that Harris really like fish, right? That fish in his hand is his 'GoldFish'.. No sir, you can't leave it at home or else he'll cry his eyes out... Lucky la that's not a real fish.. Kalau tak kena carry aquarium pulak... T__T

I can do it!!

I will reduce the food portion..
Tomorrow's mission is to get a smaller and nicer plate for my lunch and dinner~!!!
Research stated that to reduce our appetite, we should get blue colored dishes...

Noted!

I'm on the pursuit of happiness

Sometimes due to my bad habit which is staying up all night (which is what I'm doing right now) I don’t get the luxury of sleeping at normal hours. Last night I stayed up until 3 am working on a writing and reading for my project paper with bestie. Today I woke up really late and I’m all out of whack! You know what else is out of whack is my stomach! And I tried to starve myself the whole day and just watched Shah and Harris having their cheesy lunch at Wendy's BTS.. Thank god I that I got up and made excuse to walk away from that table! Which would have probably led to some poor eating choices. I really am feeling different and have more energy than normal which is damn cool!I survived the day by drinking a hot caramel latte as I treated it as my brunch.. It contained milk, right?

But but but... 

I normally would have just laid around in bed for an hour after a night like tonight and then just waited to the last moment to eat. Which I did! I just walloped a bowl of spaghetti with simple soup.. I sautéed the garlic with olive oil (in my defense!) and tossed a spoonful of oyster sauce and a chunk of white meat.. pfffttt.. I'm feeling guilty right now.. =(

Guilty as charged! =(

I guess that planning out of what I should eat is sort of making me a more skinnier person. Padahal tadiiiii..... I have a plan, a goal and I don’t wanna break it.

The first couple of days are the hardest, they said...I wish that I could just jump these humps and I would be really proud of myself. 

Since I've owned a bicycle right now, I do feel a bit lighter after the cycling session... Heck I need to do more than 10 rounds! But abah said that I need to do it slowly since it has been years (3 years) that I'm resting myself from any workout sessions.. He's right.. Well, father knows best kan? =p

I cant wait until the day when people start noticing my weight loss and tell me about it ;) Anyways im just ranting now, but it's exciting to rant sometimes! :)

'Suraya, you look so thin la...'

'Suraya, you can flaunt that peplum dress..You are so skinny!'

That is sooooo going to be awesome! 

ps:I've learnt that there’s no secret diet to reduce weight, just the choices you make.. and I’m done being fat! Pffftttt...

Tree huggers.. =p

Again, I took the kids to a playground near my place this afternoon..

It was quite windy and cloudy day indeed... I just desperately in need to move my body and be wet in sweat... Hehe..Yknow to cut the extra weight I have been carrying around.. pfftttt... I was too lazy to drive to a bigger park so yeah, we just settled at this small playground..

I watched Harris and Umar laugh and chasing each other, they fell on the ground a few times but they just pretended that they  didn't feel any pain.. Why? I think they knew that I will take them home if any of them cry! Hah! The power of cikgu emmkayyy..  =p

A child’s world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. A child needs the companionship of adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in. In this scenario, Harris needs me~!! 

That's when it registered to my brain~! I want Harris to feel close to nature.. Or at least has a passion in discovering living things around him... Not just tapping on his iPad and expecting the Hen will lay eggs before his eyes! I want him to know the real deal.. How does it feel when the wind blows.. How does it feel when the sun rays make him sweat.. You got me? I don't expect them or us to know everything about the nature.. I just want him to feel it.. For these past 3 years we only have been to the malls and indoor play gyms.. I want him to be exposed to the real world.. When I was a kid for instance, I believed that there is 'Awang Kenit'... So, everyday I will sit under the biggest tree in front of my house and keep on dreaming....Or hoping that one day I'll meet my Awang Kenit and then I can bring him to school inside my school bag... Sad... So sad.. LOL...

Okay then.. Good Night! Hwarghhhhh.. Too much exercise will make you wanna sleep more too.. Haha...

Moaning

Ahhhhh....

I've never felt this excited before...

I want YOU so bad.......

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Like a makcik, I'm at home

Tonight I finally understood the feeling of being suffocated... Or drowned to be exact! For at least 10 seconds, I felt like I was drowning- in mucus!

Yeah, euwww as hard as you like but that was it..That's how I felt just now..

So I rushed to the nearest pharmacy and purchased Clarinase (it's a drug to cure flu).. plus a nasal spray. Popped the pill, sprayed the nasal spray and wait.. Alhamdulillah I can breathe again.. But I'm really afraid to experience it again, yknow...Drowned it mucus... =p

Oh, btw my presentation just now was a hit... While the rest of my classmates chose to play safe by comparing existing researches , I blurted everything out like a drunk ninja and oh boy I'm so glad I did it.. She said it was an interesting topic and she's really looking forward to know my findings..
So I am happy.. I think I can do things better when the due date's near..I gave birth on my expected due date to top that! You see...But I still need to meet her to get more details... bla bla bla..Pffttt...

I need to rest btw...I need to get enough sleep...

The weirdest thing is, I can't take a nap at noon.. I'll never make it... I hated it the most during my confinement days... I need to stay awake at night to observe lil Harris and yet I still can't sleep when the sun shines... Torturing and agonizing ...

Harris is asleep right now.. He's making a cute snoring sound... His nose is so tiny I want to bite it real hard... Ammmmmm!

And me?

I'm having my own sweet time with a hot steamy chamomile tea with lemon of course... =)
I love Saturday night... Berangan and berangan and berangan... What a life..

ps: I watched What to Expect When You're Expecting the other day... Yeah, I miss it...Being pregnant!  =,)

Soon

Hurm.. Soon there will be baby's laughter and 'alarm' every 3 hours..
I think that's the hikmah beyond everything.. Next month my sil will give birth.. God knows how much I'm longing for baby's smell..

I can't hate a baby.. I just could not

Earlier this evening, she asked me to touch her belly..As soon as I rub it the baby kicks! I can feel that he/she is going to be an active baby! Owh, I miss the feeling of moving tummy and currently I've been blessed with growling tummy..at least the gas gave me the placebo effect! So kesian!

Cepat keluar baby.... Bop bop (kicking from inside)..

Judika

I think I'm in love with this guy voice... Manly man voice.. Now listen to this song (baik kan saya?), international quality okay abang abang Indon ni... Goosebumps siot!

Judika is so handsome... I wish I could adopt him as my baby bro...or is he older than me? Whatever... 

Klik link ni.. Osemmmmm

Video Judika Osem!

Well, actually I'm more in love with his own hit - Aku Yang Tersakiti... It's like so emotional-almost as emo as Gotye's song.. If I was 15, I'll write the lyrics in my diary....Hehe.With all the dried powdery flower and gold dust... hehehe..


Okay gtg...Must play with my Harris before his bath time.. I love my life~!

This photo was taken last year... One of my favorite moment.. 

Anyway, enjoy this song ... Go go dub step~! =) 

'Cinema'

 by Gary Go feat Benny Benassi and of course my Skrillex

I could watch you for a lifetime
You're my favourite movie
A thousand endings
You mean everything to me
I never know what's coming
Forever fascinated
Hope you don't stop running
To me cause I'll always be waiting

You are A cinema I could watch you forever
Action Thriller I could watch you forever
You are A Cinema A Hollywood treasure
Love you Just the way you are
A Cinema A Cinema A Cinema
A Cinema A Cinema A Cinema

Stars spell out your name
Like in a science fiction drama
Romance growing
Like a flower in the summer
You always keep me guessing
Forever my wonder
Hope you start undressing
All my dreams will take me under

Lol

About this scar..
Those who care will advice me to put on some scar cream, but those who know will ignore..

Haha..

No one would understand me the way you do

Love

'Love is so complicated... It's no longer as simple as it WAS...'

I used to believe that it takes two to tango... Another bs that needs to be taken out from my head...Love is more than Barbie and Kent's vision to live happily ever after... It will/may involve a 'gang' of heartless people around them...

Anyway, I'm sick with smiling to wrong person... Why can't I just be myself again? 

Stop judging other person's life.

It's rude.

Stressed!

"I don't need extra expensive clothes, I need to shed these extra kilos!"

-Suraya Kamarudin, Oct '12

Fuck I need new weight!

Takut

Demi Allah aku doa mak tak perlu kena bedah
Aku tak tau macam mana nak buat
Bila tiba masa macam ni terus aku rasa menyesal sebab tak pantau apa yang mak makan sampai boleh kena batu karang ni.. Semalam masa ultrasound boleh nampak hempedu dan saluran liver mak ada batu batu tu..
Sakit nya aku cuma boleh bayangkan aje..aku pernah kena dulu tapi kecil..tapi sakitnyaaa ya rabbi! Dengan asyik mual dan muntahnya.. Masa tu doktor bagi aku ubat untuk hancurkan batu tu.. Tapi yang mak punya ni banyak dan doktor kata nak buat second test untuk tengok kena operate atau macam mana..operate batu karang sangat sakit.. Itu la yang SEMUA orang bagitau aku.. Mak dahla tak tahan sakit.doktor nak masuk air pun dan menangis..aku tak boleh tengok mak macam ni..aku jadi stress..mujurla aku tengah kerja sendiri sekarang, bolehla tengok2 kan mak.. Harris kena la bertahan tinggal dengan maid dia..Mak mesti bosan kat hospital tu..

The best way to clear the 'worry dots' in my heart is by praying to him.. Aku rasa diri ni kecik aje kalau ada atas sejadah.. Sembahyang umpama usaha... Usaha kau dapat hasil.. Aku berdoa semoga Allah makbulkan..Mak tak payah go under surgery..

Semalam masa pergi hospital aku leka leka dalam lif..main naik aje.. Pastu ikut orang depan aku sedar sedar kat area bilik mayat..tak ada mayat tapi banyak katil besi kat situ.. Aku naik ke bilik mak pastu panik.mak kata tak payah takut sangat, esok dalam kubur lagi gelap, kotor dan banyak binatang akan makan kita..itula manusia ni sehebat mana pun kat dunia masuk tanah jadi tanah juga..tak payah bermegah megah.. Terus aku teringat mimpi aku terkurung dalam bilik kecik yang gelap..pitch black.I couldnt see anything.sangat menakutkan..mati tu akan jadi.tu janji Allah..cuma cukup ke amalan aku sepanjang hidup ni untuk terangkan kubur aku? Untuk protect aku dari seksaan dalam kubur? Aku ni tau aku banyak betul dosa.. Aku nak slowly catch up balik amalan aku yang sepatutnya aku buat since baligh dulu..

Mati, budak kecik pun boleh mati..

Amir Harris makin rajin nak ikut aku solat..Tiap kali pun mesti nak kat depan aku..Pastu tertoleh toleh nak ikut steps aku.. Aku bgtau Shah, dia kata memang tempat dia depan awak pun..Tu dah baligh nanti boleh jadi imam pada awak..Insyaallah Harris..Amin :-)