.....

My heart never been in this place before..a deep dark place and now it's filled with angst and pain.. 

I guess the distance is slowly breaking us apart..

I dont think I could handle it anymore..

Yesterday I miss you so bad that I pretend the bolster is you..Put on your shirt as the cover and wish 'you' goodnight.. I just need to see you so bad that I felt so happy when you said you'll be here on Sunday..But again, you cancelled it for your work and I'm choked.. Cant breathe for few seconds and I felt hurt..Like really hurt.. I'm so sad that I chose to stop replying your text messages and put the phone on silent for few hours.. 

I'm planning to sleep over it and hopefully I'll be perky back when I'm up tomorrow morning.. I dont think Skype gonna save me anymore.. or us.. I'm scared of this emptiness.. 

Allah will only put me in a test that He knew I could pass...But I guess that I'm failing this time..It has been 5 years already and I'm just human.A weak one.. and I'm draining..Mentally and spiritually.. 

Let's pray for some miracle to mend it back..