Help Me God..

Do you know how much we, the parents meant for our children?

Raising a child is not an experiment nor a try/error quest.. It came with a lot of responsibility.. Everyone can raise children, (even a cat can do it), but can we help them being a true muslim?

(Okay, this entry might sound like an usrah session, so call me ustazah if you want to.. It's a blessing anyways )

Wallahi, I want Harris to be a real muslim. To be the caliph in our small family. In shaa Allah.. I hate it when people love to judge me from my past.. I had to admit this, I'm stupid back then or in Arab, jahil.. But Alhamdulillah, few years back I was an English teacher in one of the Sekolah Menengah Agama in Negeri Sembilan.. At first I was lost, during the assembly students and all teachers will recite Yasin and few other 'Zikir Munajat'... Deep in my heart I whined, 'Is it necessary?' But soon after that I joined them. I recited Yasin with them.. At first I felt burdened with it but Alhamdulillah, it has become a sweet ritual for me.. 

Went to an usrah session during the Little Caliphs training the other day.  It was really an eye opener for me.. If you have a child, please read the points I have from the usrah session:

1. Give gifts to your daughter(s) first.

2. Play with your children.It is narrated from the Prophet: “The person who has a child, should behave like a child with him.”

3. Do not hit your child when they cry.

4. Kiss your child. 

5. Say Assalamualaikum to your child(ren)

6. Do not ridicule the actions of your child, nor call them silly.

7. Do not order or forbid your child too much, as this emboldens them and leads to rebellious behaviour when older.

8. Build your children’s characters by respecting them. 

9. Keep your promises. 

10. Keep a close watch and control over their actions with others and prevent those actions that increase one’s sexual instinct

11. Spoiling a child creates weakness, and a lack of will and determination. 

12. Do not force our children to do things they may not have the capability of doing. 

13. Pray for your children, both during pregnancy and afterwards. 

14. Reminders and requests should be given with gentleness and softness. 

15. Show respect and good interaction between parent and child 

16. A good role model is someone who adjusts their children’s desires wisely and with the correct techniques.

17. Foster the faith of your child in Allāh (swt) 

18. Stay away from wrist-grabbing and bossy behaviour with children.

19. To foster the innate nature of telling the truth in children. 

20. Do not use fear as a method of raising your child, as this causes damage to their personality and leads to psychological problems. 

21. Cuddling and kissing a child is one of their soul-foods. Kiss them and wipe their tears with love.

22. Make our children understand the indecency of sin and encourage the child’s good actions. 

23. The beds of children of 6 years and above should be separated from each other, even if they are both daughters or both sons.

24. Keep a healthy and loving family.

25. There should be a difference in the order and expectations of the behaviour of a child inside the home, and out. At home, allow the child to play freely.

26. Always bear the unexpected behaviour of your child to a limit and do not always take the mistakes of your chid to be unforgivable, so that you are not always compelled to punish. 

27. When instructing your child, don’t mention the names of other children constantly, or compare them with others.

28. Stories are a useful and important method of encouraging good qualities and characteristics,

29. We shouldn't  punish our child too much.

30. Make your children perform solat from 7 years, and fast from 9 years, either half day or more or less, depending on their abilities.

31. Do not be quick to accuse your children of lying because until 5 years, real lying or lying out of self-interest is rare; rather it is due to their active imagination, related to playing or creating astonishment in others, or to the child’s exploration of the self.

32. Do not condemn a child who has tired you with their questions, as this weakens their sense of curiousity.

33. Try not to quarrel, especially in front of the child, as this troubles them greatly and affects their personality.

34. Children have a particular fear of the word death, don’t speak constantly of your death,

35. Find out about your child’s talents and develop these as much as possible.

36. In terms of wordly aspects, do not over-saturate your child so that they go on the wrong path, nor under do it, as both these methods are dangerous.

37. The single most important cause of the happiness of the child is the kindness and affection from the parents.

38. It is important that the parents give freedom and independence to their children according to their capabilities, so that they develop their initiative, innate independence and self-trust. At the same time, one must be careful not to exceed the limits so that children bring harm to themselves.

39. Raising your child properly to love Allah and His prophets.

40. Teach your children the Qur’an. 

Subhanallah.. Every details are there in the Quran aren't they?.. I want to be a better person and of course, to guide and raise Harris as a good muslim.. In shaa Allah.. Pray for us. =)